Over the years I've had many crazy goals and dreams, running a Retreat in Bali seemed completely impossible and so far from where i was at that time.
I ran a Retreat in 2020 in the UK to test out if it was something i even like to do, my confidence was low, my belief in myself was pretty limited and my mindset wasn't at peak performance. However the planning still went ahead and i got 12 lovely people booked on, I was completely honest that it was my first ever Retreat, luckily they were very understanding.
At that time, my drive was achieving something on my own, that I created, what I believe in and holds my beliefs, skills, wisdom and experience. After working for people for so many years, I wanted to be the person who decided everything and saw the creation come together.
I actually miss that drive, the freshness, the beginning of something new, the excitement and nerves.
I'll glide over the fact 2020 was a year to change all our lives... So skipping to 2021, I built the strength to admit to myself that the dream of running a retreat in Bali could become a reality, but the borders were closed and life was still a crazy mess.
I was lucky enough to have other options and decided to travel around Croatia, as it was one of the only countries with an open border and no restrictions. As i was in Croatia, I thought maybe its better to run a Retreat closer to the UK, I visited a Pole Dance Studio, I travelled around the Islands, I figured out the boats, the restaurants, the clubs, the accommodation and the best beaches! It was an accidental research trip!
My drive for the Croatia Retreat was infact my love for Croatia, my love for travel and my love for giving back all the experience and wisdom i've put together. Giving people time and energy, teaching what i love to share and making people happy - the sun, sea and cocktails also had a huge part to play in that.
It wasn't fully booked, I had 7 people, so at first i was considering it a failure before it had even started!
It was a huge learning trip for me, there are many things i will do differently next time, but as for the guests...they had an amazing time, they loved somebody organising their trip, getting away from day to day life and taking part in activities together! To me the success was hearing them all laughing, playing games in the Pool and being completely free.
At this time I had been living in Bali for 6 months, so quickly after the Croatia Retreat i was flying back to Bali! I didn't take much time to relax and process the trip. I made myself feel stressed and scared for what happens next... I don't recommend that.
The insecurities came back, not believing in myself, holding myself back and my mindset was at a low... I was being kind to myself that I'd just moved away from home so there was a lot going on and trying to settle into a new county completely alone, is overwhelming.
Then i went to see a Balinese Healer and she said one simple word 'action'... she didn't say much that day but i took it as... stop complaining, more action (not her words!).
So as soon as i left, i decided it was time to launch the Bali Retreat 2023.
My Drive this time was that low point... I have been held back by people who saw my potential and didn't want me to succeed, people who told me I have no drive and I'm not good enough. Not letting me run something, that is completely from my own creativity and soul. How did i let somebody take that from me? How did believe i couldn't do it.
It was a phenomenal start as it Fully Booked January 1st 2023.
It was a huge success; even though there will always be things I want to change, make better, take critique from, gather feedback and make sure i achieve... it was on the whole and big big dreamy accomplishment.
You may think... surely this is her drive now? To continue making them better.
The drive has changed over the year... as i see so many people running Retreats through outsourced companies, its easy to use these companies - they do all the hard work, the Retreat planner doesn't do much. I see so many people not visiting parts of Bali that are authentic, i see so many Pole Camps/Retreats running events where you don't get to even meet a Local person. Things have changed alot.
So my drive is to keep things authentic, true to Balinese culture, with local people, with down to earth people. My drive is to educate, share experience, give people my time and energy, give back what i have learnt, help people and make people happy.
I hope i can achieve a few of these things this year, but ultimately i need to learn and remember that its OK to fail and go off the path for a while, as thats the time you learnt the most about why you're doing it, whats driving you? Why to continue....
Its hard, its a difficult, messy process but its all worth it when you do it for what deep down is driving you..
Thank you for reading and please share far and wide.
Huge huge love,
Bryony, TheBMovement, BRetreats xxxxxxx